Erase Self-Doubt
From the Archive | Originally Published May 2022
“Erase Self-Doubt.”
Years ago, I approached self-doubt mostly through the lens of confidence, perseverance, mindset, and personal growth. Emotional intelligence, identity development, belonging, and adaptation have since deepened the way I understand what people are often carrying beneath self-doubt itself.
Many people are not simply questioning their abilities in isolation. Emotional suppression, perfectionism, chronic self-monitoring, hyper-independence, imposter syndrome, and over-adaptation are often shaped within environments that quietly communicate which parts of a person feel safest hidden, softened, minimized, or constantly adjusted in order to belong.
One line from that earlier reflection still remains deeply meaningful:
“I found my future self, beyond the doubts…”
There is something profoundly human inside that idea because growth frequently requires people to reconnect with parts of themselves that survival, fear, emotional unsafety, rejection, or chronic adaptation taught them to distance themselves from over time. Self-trust is not always built through louder confidence. Sometimes it begins through emotional safety, honest reflection, healthier environments, and the gradual realization that identity, humanity, wisdom, softness, creativity, and belonging were never absent in the first place. Many people have simply spent years learning how to survive environments that made authenticity feel risky.
Archive Note
The original “Erase Self-Doubt” blog was written during an earlier season of my work, when many of my reflections centered more heavily on encouragement, mindset, perseverance, and personal growth. Although my understanding of identity, belonging, emotional intelligence, adaptation, and emotional safety has deepened over time, there are still meaningful threads within this earlier writing that connect to the work I continue building today.
Growth often reveals not only how much a person has changed, but also how certain truths continue unfolding with greater depth over time.
It takes a tremendous amount of effort to accomplish what you set out to do.
Presenting to yourself the ability to make a task, goal, or objective a part of your story of triumph is magnificent.
Although we often have dreams of what we want to do, we may face self-doubt. It is only when we can “erase” self-doubt that we find our true potential.
When doubts may arise, there are several things that you need to do:
1. Take a moment to sit with the doubt
2. Process all of your feelings in that given time
3. Think about, analyze, and acknowledge where the doubts came from
4. Work through the source of the doubt by addressing it effectively
5. Seek assistance to address the core of your doubts and how you will move forward
6. Let go and “erase” the doubt
One thing that you must always remember is that you are a limitless being with the potential to have absolutely anything that you want and work hard for. There are times that people put limits on themselves unnecessarily, but it can be avoided with a shift in their mindset.
How about an example? Have you ever found yourself in a situation in which you are leveling up, and you are surrounded by individuals who are more experienced and in that moment, you were feeling elements of imposter syndrome. Did you not work hard to get where you are? Did you not use your unique identity, gifts, and talents to be in the room, at the table, or in conversation with these individuals? So, how was imposter syndrome and self-doubt allowed to be present in the scenario?
I can say that I have faced moments of self-doubt in places of my transformation and evolution. However, I found my future self, beyond the doubts, by honing into my greatness and moving beyond what I was facing with the right tools in my toolbox.
No matter where you are in life, you have a responsibility and will face accountability for the future that you create. So, what will you do with the power, strength, amazing identity, intellect, and beauty inside of you?
Be blessed and be at peace.
KayLa’s Positivity Corner by Dr. KayLa (Archived Blog)
Dr. KayLa N. Allen-Young is the founder of Dear Mixed Girl® and a certified health & well-being coach whose work explores identity, belonging, emotional intelligence, cultural proficiency, and human-centered leadership. Through writing, speaking, coaching, and educational experiences, she supports girls, families, educators, and leaders in developing healthier relationships with themselves and the communities around them.
This reflection is part of the Dear Mixed Girl® archive — a growing collection of writings preserved across different seasons of thought, growth, and becoming.
Continue the conversation through Dear Mixed Girl® speaking experiences, workshops, coaching, and leadership-centered support.
