Virtuous Identity
An Evolving Perspective | Originally Published June 2020
“Virtuous Character”
Identity is shaped within relationships, communities, cultures, and environments that continuously communicate messages about who we are and who we should become. Over time, those messages can influence the choices people make, the opportunities they pursue, and even the way they define success. When external expectations become the primary source of direction, it becomes difficult to distinguish between living authentically and simply responding to the pressures that surround us.
A healthy sense of identity creates space for something different. Personal values, beliefs, and principles provide a foundation that remains steady even when circumstances change or competing voices attempt to define what is acceptable, successful, or worthy. Rather than making decisions solely to gain approval or avoid criticism, people who are grounded in their identity are better equipped to make choices that align with their character, long-term purpose, and sense of calling.
Authenticity is often discussed as the freedom to express oneself, yet authentic living involves more than self-expression alone. Authenticity requires self-awareness, personal responsibility, and a willingness to ensure that actions remain consistent with deeply held values. Growth does not require abandoning the qualities that reflect who we are at our best. Healthy development strengthens our ability to live with greater wisdom, confidence, and integrity while remaining rooted in the principles that matter most.
From a faith perspective, virtue reflects qualities that help us live in alignment with who God calls us to be. Integrity, honesty, compassion, humility, and wisdom are not obstacles to growth; they help shape the foundation upon which meaningful growth occurs. As opportunities expand and responsibilities increase, character continues to influence how we lead, serve, build relationships, and contribute to the lives of others.
Change is a natural part of life, and every season presents opportunities to learn, adapt, and evolve. An important question accompanies that process: Does growth move us closer to the person we aspire to be, or does it pull us away from the values that guide our decisions and relationships? Character, virtue, and integrity continue to matter because they influence not only personal success, but also the impact we have on the people and communities we encounter along the way.
Virtuous Identity
Think About It
For far too many people, it is easy to put on a show and make people see them for whoever they may be in one light. Take a look at a platform like Instagram, people enjoy images of travel, children, nature, animals, and everything in between, but these things are only what people allow their viewers to see. If you were to shed a light on your life and your actual identity, could people say that you are virtuous?
Turn off the show for the world and share your story and empower others; it may not be as exciting as other things, but I guarantee you that your virtue and dignity will not be eradicated.
Maybe it’s time to adjust your thoughts and get yourself out of your limiting bubble. Be wonderfully you! Be virtuous and dignified.
Do Your Work
Not at any point, should you aim for perfection or pretend to be something that you are not as that will only hinder your growth and opportunities. In all things, it is important to be your true self and be willing to evolve and become someone greater than you already are. Your challenge here is to own your identity and keep a hold of your morals and values, regardless of what the world may deem as appropriate or fitting for you.
You know the person that is living inside of you, so don’t think you have to alter your heart or morals to make someone comfortable or appease the masses. Do not, under any circumstance, try to force your moral compass to change. If you feel like you are being a virtuous person and are doing the right things as you continue to evolve, your compass is guided you effectively.
Reflect
Growing in your business or in life (becoming “you 2.0”) does not mean that you have to change your virtuous identity. Honor who you are and believe that the goodness that lives inside of you will only improve your coming successes. If I would have changed myself and stopped being the loving person that I am, I could not be on this mission to empower and encourage others to become better and prosperous versions of themselves. Think about all that you have poured your heart into and how much those things have gifted the world.
Own a virtuous identity and work hard in all that you do, and know that your hopes and dreams will become your truth and a gift to the world because you were simply being an amplified version of wonderful you.
Bible & Spiritual Connection
Proverbs 11:13 & Philippians 4:8
It is a challenge to be a good person, but the payback is substantial both in fruit and in the transformation that you can see in the life of others because of the work that you do. Don’t forget to be virtuous when you reach success or see new opportunities. The values and morals that you hold to be true will help to guide you in your path if you pay attention. Keep your eyes open and follow a beautiful and blessed path.
Be blessed and be at peace.
Dr. KayLa N. Allen-Young is the founder of Dear Mixed Girl® and a certified health & well-being coach whose work explores identity, belonging, emotional intelligence, cultural proficiency, and human-centered leadership. Through writing, speaking, coaching, and educational experiences, she supports girls, families, educators, and leaders in developing healthier relationships with themselves and the communities around them.
This reflection is part of the Dear Mixed Girl® archive — a growing collection of writings preserved across different seasons of thought, growth, and becoming.
Continue the conversation through Dear Mixed Girl® speaking experiences, workshops, coaching, and leadership-centered support.
